My mind is spinning with topics to write about this morning. The last few days I've found myself in a valley. As I've talked about my feeling with my family they have helped me tremendously. The mountain top is within sight :).  I gained much wisdom from my teenager just last night.  She hasn't felt good this weekend and I have good days and bad days in regards to how I feel (more bad than good it seems lately).  Anyway, last night I was sharing with Olivia how I felt discouraged because I have been praying that the Lord would grant me good health so I could get a job and help pay for the things I'd like to buy (extras if you will).  My daughter said, "Maybe the Lord doesn't want you to have a job" ... Hmmm, you know what ? maybe He doesn't.  Wisdom from a teen.  At lunch yesterday I told Chris how I wished for a certain type of friend for this stage in my life.  After he and I talked I realized that what I thought I needed in that person I already have.  Then as I talked to my mom just before bed and she and I were both talking about how we don't feel good most days.  We don't begrudge others with their good health, but we question why the Lord allows some of us NOT to have the energy and spunk that He allows others to have.  She and I were in agreement that if the Lord is using us in the state that we are in, then we will be content and give Him the glory ... ultimately its all about Him anyway.  Wow, just talking through all of that with my 3 loves really gave me a new perspective.  Maybe you can't follow what I'm saying, but the point is this:  My life is not my own.  I am a child of Jesus and I want to serve Him.  It's when I think of serving myself ( like wanting to get a job so I can buy Vera Bradley stuff and other worldly things) that I get discouraged.  Seriously I don't know what I'm thinking.  Usually I'm so level headed and don't care about name brands.  I do like good quality, but mostly I am a thrifty chick who gets a thrill from a good deal rather than paying full price.  Olivia and I talked on the way to school about how the Lord provides for the birds. He says that He clothes the birds of air, He feeds them. He says, "Are you not of more value than they?" He also says to consider the lilies of the field and not even Solomon was arrayed like one of these. A few verses later Matthew tells us not to worry about what we shall eat or what we shall drink or what we shall wear. Our Heavenly Father knows that we need all of these things.

Matthew 6:33 tells us "But seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you."   He know our needs before we do. He may not always supply all of our wants, but He always meets our needs. So as I am climbing up out of my valley I want to leave you with the hope of Jesus. I believe He allows us to share our burdens with others so we can help and learn from each other. I am sharing what He is teaching me today.  Keep your eyes on Him and keep climbing ... He is right there with you, teaching you as you make your way up the mountain.  Is the climb difficult? Yes.  Will there be slips along your way? Yes.  Will Jesus always be there to catch you when you slip?  Yes, yes, yes.  Never give up.  You are not alone.

Now go be a blessing ...

It's not about me ...

God is good ... all the time.  Nothing is about me, but it's all about Him.  When you feel down and out and don't know where to turn, turn your eyes to Jesus.  If you are nervous and struggling with something, pray the prayer below.  I wrote it for my daughter and myself and would like to share it with you.  Praying back God's word is what I believe we are called to do, along with loving one another.  Seek the Lord with all your heart and you WILL find Him.  He will never leave you or forsake you.  Jesus loves you.  As you leave 2012 and enter into 2013 seek the Lord.  I promise you it will be the best decision of your life.  Happy New Year Friends !!!

Dear Father, I am asking you to do as Psalm 139:23 says,  “ Search me, oh God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts”.Lord help me to trust you and not worry about the “what if’s" of the day? Holy spirit please guide me and help me submit my day to you. I know that the bible tells me in 2 Tim.1:7 “ For God has not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”  Satan wants me to take my eyes off of you, but Jesus you are all powerful and you can give me victory in anything.  Thank you Jesus for being with me everywhere I go.   Thank you for helping me to trust that you love me more than any one.  You are here.  I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  We got this Lord J Thank you Jesus J

12/31/12

Wow, is it really the end of another year?  As I look back over 2012 I find myself with mixed emotions.  Let me hit the highlights.  In January 2012 Chris and I stepped out of our comfort zone and stood before our church and TV viewing audience to talk about being foster parents. That was the beginning of several speaking opportunities where we shared from our heart about our calling. In February Olivia brought home the 3rd place ribbon in her schools Science Fair. So proud of her. March brought "Little One" our first foster child, back into our home.  We took a family beach trip the first week of April, then on the 19th my baby girl turned 13.  In May I was bitten by our prodigal kitty.  After 18 doses of Sulfa for the bite, I broke out in an itchy rash and found out I was allergic to my fourth antibiotic.  Chris and I celebrated 16 happy years of marriage.  In June Olivia and I rode around and delivered fliers for Vacation Bible School at our church.  At the end of the month she and I volunteered to work with the second graders at VBS.  Little One was in our class and we all had a great week.  In July Chris and Olivia took an all day hunter safety training class.  Olivia and I also started Biblical christian counseling.  It was very eye opening and such a blessing.  Little One learned how to ride a big girl bike without training wheels.  August brought me a year older hubby and another beach trip with the girls and my mom.  It was so nice to have mom at the beach.   In September Olivia started voice lessons at school.  We finally went to court for Little One after the date being changed for months.  Chris went shrimping, but the shrimp were not there.  I lost hearing in my left ear and began a new journey in my life. September 30th Little One moved to another foster home. October was the month I spent in Dr. Butehorns office.  I had 3 steroid shots ($1300 each) in my ear ( one a week for 3 weeks).  Olivia went to the night corn maze with her classmates and had a great time.  My mom's side of the family had a family reunion at Lake Cooley.  Grandmother Quinn was able to attend along with her brother and all the family. It was a special day.  In November Chris and I went through an all day Foster parent mentoring program. Olivia and I put up the Christmas tree and decorated the gazebo for Christmas. I had a sleep study and my first ever brain MRI.  I found out that I didn't have sleep apnea or a tumor on my ear canal. Praise the Lord for His mercy.  December gave Chris a year older wife. We were able to spend the evening with Little One at the foster parent Christmas party and she is doing great !! Olivia had a good month singing with chorus and spending some fun times with her friends.  Whew ... and to think of all of the stuff I left out.  Health wise this hasn't been my best year, BUT I honestly believe that the Lord doesn't allow anything to happen without a purpose, SO I give Him all the glory and honor.  I may never know why I lost my hearing, I may never regain it, but I do know the One who allowed it and I trust Him completely.  So no matter what happened this year it was not in vain.  I will continue to seek and trust and hopefully learn and grow from these experiences.  The only thing that is important is that you have a relationship with Jesus.  If you don't, then make that your 2013 goal.  He is all you need.  Take it from someone who knows. 

Love to you all.

Go be a blessing ....

December

So much has happened since I last blogged in October.  I had a sleep study at North Grove Medical Park.  That was a night I won't soon forget. I was connected to 27 little wires and two large straps around my waist and chest.  I didn't feel like I slept at all, but the technician assured me that I did.  It wasn't the worse thing in the world, but I'm glad it's over.  I then had an MRI ( honestly I'd rather have another MRI than another sleep study).  I found out on the same day that the results of the sleep study showed no sleep apnea !!! That was a blessing.  The doctor went on to tell me that the MRI didn't show a tumor on my ear canal, another blessing !!! I think I floated out of his office on that Friday morning.  What a praise.  I don't go back to see him until February so it's nice to have a break from the testing for a while.  :-) We still don't know why I lost my hearing, but it could be a case of Bell's Palsy.  Instead of the palsy coming out through my face, it went back into my ear drum.  Or the doctor said it could have been viral.  We just don't know.  I am trusting the Lord as He is getting me adjusted to the "new" sounds I hear and don't hear.  I still don't enjoy music, but Charles Billingsley's concert was awesome.

Chris has killed a couple of deer and still enjoys the hunt.  He took Olivia hunting this evening.  They didn't see anything, but they had a good time.  I like to go with him to get the memory card from the deer cam.  We enjoy watching the video of the deer and other wildlife.  We've seen deer, raccoons, a fox, turkeys and even coyotes.  The woods are a very peaceful place.

Olivia is doing excellent in school.  I don't like to brag so I won't.  One of my pet peeves is when people post their kids grades on face book.  Seriously ... they are grades.  They will not make or break you in this life.  I'm not a numbers kind of mom.  I know she is brilliant; I live with her and have taught her. What makes me proud is when she comes home from helping with the special Olympics and she can't stop talking about the kids who touched her heart.  Last week her school chorus sang in a nursing home and she went on and on about a sweet man with a beard like Santa.  She hugged him.  I love that she sees people as people.  She is kind and compassionate. I couldn't be more proud of the young lady she is turning into. I pray for her daily ( moment by moment many times).  She is a blessing.

She and Chris take good care of me and I love them so much.  I am a thankful wife and mother.   God is good ... all the time. 

A new season of my life.

Over the summer Olivia and I went through biblical counseling to help us overcome our anxiety and fears.  It was a wonderful time together with our bible and counselor.  We learned that fear is not of God and now 2 Timothy 1:7 is one of my most treasured bible verses.  It says, " For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind." When you go through life worrying about the "what if's" you don't really enjoy much.  You find yourself saying no to invitations that could be fun and worthwhile.  You miss out on many joys.  Praise the Lord that is NOT the case with either of us anymore.  Through the word of God we have been set free !!!  Our counselor told us that Satan was not going to be happy about this because for years he has been putting chains on us (they are now removed by the power of the holy spirit).  She assured us that Satan would attack us and she said he would attack our health.  She couldn't have been more correct.  Olivia has had sinus allergy issues and missed school due to sickness.  I've been struck deaf in my left ear.   I have my 3rd and final steroid shot in my ear this week before an MRI is ordered.  I am an active person who loves caring for my family and doing for others.  This ear issue has slowed me down.  I drove out to Target last week and while sitting in the parking lot Satan kept whispering that I shouldn't go inside.  He told me that I'd just get dizzy and that I needed to go back home.  I knew that wasn't from the Lord so I pulled out my Victory journal from counseling and I read all of the verses that helped before. I prayed and asked the Lord for strength.  Do you know when I got out of the car a good friend was there and she asked how my ear and dizziness was?  She wanted to know if I was ok  and if I needed her.  Coincident? No way.  The Lord put her there to encourage me and to remind me that the Lord is always going to meet my needs ( and yours for that matter, if you will only trust Him).  I shopped and bought what I needed.  I didn't have any dizzy spells :-) I had another victory to write in my victory journal!  Right now I am taking life one moment at the time.  Honestly, I am unsure of what my future holds, but knowing who holds my future keeps me going.  When you lose your hearing in one ear, the other ear tries so hard to overcompensate.  Teaching 5 year old children is a joy, but the sounds my one ear takes in when all of the kids get excited and talk is tough.  I love to go to church, but music is not the same.  Sunday I had to sit out while the singing was going on because of all of the different sounds. Thankfully I can listen to the pastor ( or one person).  I wonder if Charles Billingsley's concert this Sunday evening will be my last??? I'm curious how my ear will do with one singer verses a choir.  I think acappella will sound good :) 

So this is me sharing and venting I guess. I'd be amiss if I forgot to share with you about making the treat bags with scripture to give out on Halloween.  Every year our family fills candy bags and attaches the word of God.  This year I printed a prayer for the child on one side of the paper and the plan of salvation on the other side.  We all will pray over the bagged candy and we'll know that each child who leaves our door on Halloween will be carrying the word of God with them.  If you'd like a copy of what I typed I'll be glad to send it to you. 

Well that's all that's on my heart right now. Actually Little One is still on my heart, but I've been so occupied with doctor appointments that the Lord has healed the hurt of her being gone.  I still keep in touch with her new foster family and she is doing great !!

Go be a blessing ...

Victory in Jesus !!

There is victory in Jesus.  Last Thursday we sat through court listening to witnesses and accounts of what happened to our precious Little One.  The judge took all the evidence and testimonies and said he'd give us a verdict the next day.  Friday morning we prepared our hearts to hear what he would say.  Praise the Lord he ruled in favor of the child!!! He saw that abuse did take place and he felt it was in her best interest to remain in DSS custody (so she is still with us).  We are very happy for her and this victory.  We thank you all for your prayers, calls, texts, emails and words of encouragement.  They were all felt. 

Ephesians 3:14-21

King James Version (KJV)

¹⁴ For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ,
¹⁵ Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named,
¹⁶ That he would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might by his Spirit in the inner man;
¹⁷ That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love,
¹⁸ May be able to comprehend with all saints what is the breadth, and length, and depth, and height;
¹⁹ And to know the love of Christ, which passeth knowledge, that ye might be filled with all the fullness of God.
²⁰ Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us,
²¹ Unto him be glory in the church by Christ Jesus throughout all ages, world without end. Amen.

A journey of faith

Wow, it has been 2 months to the day since I've blogged ... boy do I have some things to share with you.   On  March 26, 2011 while at the beach for our last family vacation before our foster child was to return to her mother "Little One" prayed and asked Jesus into her tender heart.  It was a glorious day. She had been asking questions and was ready to give her heart to the Lord.  Fast forward to March 26, 2012 ... I had just returned from visiting my grandmother at the nursing home and sat down to check my facebook.  As the feeds came through one from channel 7 news rocked my world.  There was a picture of our first foster child's mother (her mug shot) and the title read; "Mother chased daughter with a claw hammer".  Don't you know my heart sank? I began to shake and felt sick.  I called Chris who always calms me and asked him to call DSS.  Within 20 minutes a representative from DSS called me and I found out Little One was safe and ok.  That evening we picked up Little One from the Children's shelter and she has been with us since.  What a difference one year can make. I am happy to report "Little One" is healthy, happy and doing great. There have been two court hearings which were both continued( moved 30 days or more) with no actions taken. Next Thursday, Sept. 6th is our next court date.  Due to privacy I can't really share information with you, but I would ask that you join me to pray specifically, that the Lord's will for where Little One should live be revealed to all of us.  Some family members have come forward and would like to have her come live with them, so that is a possibility.  Our family only wants the best for her and her future.  This has been a long journey and after court I will share more from my heart and what the Lord has taught me throughout this process.  Right now I ask for prayers for Little One.  Thanks.

My two cents on Magic Mike

There is nothing "magic" about Magic Mike. It's a well thought out Hollywood ploy... "sex sells". Galatians 5:16, "I say then: Walk in the Spirit, and you shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh." I won't be taken in by satans lies. My love and respect for my husband and daughters and the example I want them to see in my life keeps me away from such a movie. Matthew 19:5-6 "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.” I'm not going to let Hollywood separate me from my husband. What good can come from me looking at half dressed men dancing? No good, none at all. I don't want my eyes to see what isn't mine. My heart belongs to Jesus and Chris. Yeah, yeah I can hear the world saying, "but it's just a movie". No it's not just a movie and if you believe that lie then you are not being honest with yourself. The word of God clearly tells us in 1 John 2:16, "For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world." I choose to avoid it because 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Or do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have from God, and you are not your own? For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s." I am God's girl and I want to glorify Him in all I do. No I am not perfect and I am surely not judging anyone. I am just sharing from my heart why I'm not going to see this movie that I keep hearing everyone else talk about like it's the best thing since sliced bread. Be a blessing ...

Dandelion ... A wish waiting to happen.

What do you think of when you see a dandelion? When I see a dandelion I think of wishes. When I was little my mom taught me to blow the dandelion seeds and make a wish. Such a simple act, yet it has always stayed with me. Over the years I have shared this tradition with Olivia and to this day when she and I see dandelions we pick them and blow the seeds. I had the joy of babysitting two little girls this past weekend. While playing ball with them I stopped and picked a dandelion. Amazingly and without any instruction the younger girl came right up and blew all the seeds into the wind. It's like the unwritten rule that you blow the seeds from the dandelion. A simple joy from a weed. I can't help but thank the Lord for dandelions. In the midst of the trials I am dealing with He gives me the opportunity to stop and make a wish. To stop stressing and to let go ... When I pray I'd like to equate my stressful situations to those Dandelion seeds flying in the wind ... like the Lord relieving all my struggles. As much as I love the Lord and trust Him, I honestly don't allow myself to give Him all my Dandelion seeds (if you will). I sometimes catch hold of a few and hang on to them. I want to let the Lord take care of that situation for me, but being the control freak that I am I often take my stress back. Yes, I say I am giving it to the Lord, but that's not as easy to do as it is to say. I need to remind myself of the Dandelion seeds floating away. Satan is constantly attacking our family, our child, our finances, our minds, our health, and our world. He is like a roaring lion seeking who he can tear apart. Oh don't get me wrong I know in the end, we win, BUT right now we are on the battlefield. Yes, you are too. We have to arm ourselves with the word of God or we won't be able to stand, must less fight. Satan wants your children. Have you heard or read the lyrics to some 'popular' songs? If you watch TV you see all the filth there. This world is anti-Jesus and people we must get on our knees and cry out to the Lord to protect our children and to rescue us from this junk. We need to make calls, write letters, send emails let our voice be heard to whomever is necessary to make changes to clean up the TV, radio, the world. Don't sit back and think your voice won't make a difference because it will.

Wishes are fun, but prayer is powerful. Join me in praying for our families, our children and our society. Let's pray in the holy and powerful name of Jesus to help each other. Start now, start today.


Go be a blessing ...

Reflections of my life

I bet you didn't know this about me, but I am 42 years old and I've never been on a Ferris Wheel OR flown in a plane. I write out a daily schedule and have multiple calendars for all of our family activities. I like a routine and think it works best for me, HOWEVER, I have days that I wished I could throw it out the window and do something spontaneous. I like long hair and pony tails. My worst flaw is being critical of others. I struggle internally and let the Lord deal with me. I seek Him to restore my mind to thoughts I need to have and not being critical.

When I was in 8th grade I was in homecoming. It was one of my happiest days that turned into my worst nightmare. A drunk man driving an 18 wheeler loaded with batteries ran into the back seat of my mom's Ford Thunderbird while on our way home. We were in a six car pile up and landed on a bridge. We made the front page of the Spartanburg Herald and mom and I had our first ride in an ambulance. No broken bones, but lots of pain and soreness. For weeks I was terrified to ride in a car; I kept hearing all that metal crashing around me.

During my first semester of college at just 18 years old I found a lump in my breast. After failing at draining it with a huge needle the doctor sent me for an ultrasound and a mammogram. I was told I was the youngest person in the area to have a mammogram. None of the tests gave the doctor the information he needed so I had my first ever surgery on Dec. 28, 1988. The doctor did a bilateral mastectomy removing 3 lumps and tissue. I recovered at home. Praise the Lord no cancer was found.

In college I fell in love and had my first big heart break. The Lord sent Chris to pick up the pieces and we're going on 16 happy years. We worked together in his computer business, built a 3000 square foot house on 11 acres, had a baby and then decided to move to a neighborhood. We have been blessed with our one daughter and love her so much, pre-teen years and all :) We embarked on foster parenting last year and have enjoyed caring for 3 precious little girls.

On this life journey I have seen things I wished I hadn't seen, like children suffering and being hungry and neglected. I get frustrated by not having control over situations, but the Lord in His wonderful guidance is teaching me daily to lean on Him and trust Him. I've faced some challenges in my life and had my share of pain and heartache; through it all I've always relied on the Lord. Jesus has been my closest friend and He has never let me down. Please don't start this new Year without Him.

God bless you and your family. Thanks for reading. I hope in the coming year to write more, complain less and be a better servant to the Lord. Oh and just maybe I will overcome my fear and hop a plane or at least a Ferris wheel :) Happy New Year!

My Red Christmas book :)

I want to share with you my red Christmas book. When I was in the 9th grade my favorite English teacher, Mrs. Babb, gave us an assignment to buy a book with empty pages. She wanted us to write about our Christmas experiences from birth to 9th grade. Being the writer that I am I remember being thrilled with that assignment. I have continued to write about each Christmas since then. It was a lot of work in the beginning, but now it is one of my most prized possessions. I not only write about each Christmas and how I celebrated, but I have tucked memorable cards, pictures, church bulletins etc., in my book. So it is a scrap book of Christmas memories. It is not only a joy to write in, but also a joy to read and reflect. Let me encourage you during this very busy season to stop and reflect. We are told from God's word that Mary the mother of Jesus, "pondered these things in her heart". Stop and think about why we celebrate Christmas. What does it mean to you? Write it down. Share the love of Jesus; after all He is reason for the season.

Merry Christmas :)